Several years ago, before the Afghan conflict, Barbara Walters of Television’s 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan. She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands. Recently she returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.
From Miss Walter’s vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom they had so disliked. Miss Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, “‘Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?’” The woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation, said, “Land Mines.” Moral of the story is (no matter where you go): BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE’S A SMART WOMAN !
This is a short story written by Dr Kishore Shah….he is a gynaecologist in Pune and a very gifted writer….enjoy this extremely funny story .My wife is an ENT Surgeon while I am a Gynaecologist. This can lead to some complications, as I recently learned to my anguish. A General Practitioner called me up and told me that she is sending a patient of hers for an abortion. Unknown to me, she had also referred a female with earwax for removal of the wax to my wife.
I duly informed the receptionist to send the patient right in as she was expected (and expecting!) As Murphy lays down the laws of our hospital, it was but natural that the patient who wanted the wax removed from her ear, landed up with me. This is the conversation that I had with the patient.
“Please come in. Be seated.” I said with a big smile. I always have a big smile, when I am going to earn some money. The patient gave a feeble smile and sat hesitantly on the edge of the chair. “Relax.”
“Doctor, will this hurt a lot?”
“Not at all.”
The patient relaxed visibly. “You know something, Doctor, we tried removing it at home, but failed.”
I was shocked. “Thank God. Trying this at home can cause serious complications.”
“I first tried to remove it by jumping up and down, but it just wouldn’t budge.”
I smiled and said, “If it were that easy, who would need doctors?”
She gave a cute smile and said, “Yeah! My neighbour tried to remove it with his finger, but the hole is so small that he used a hair pin.”
“Oh my God!”
“Yes! My mother even tried a matchstick.”
My blood pressure was shooting skywards. I just sputtered without uttering a word.
“Tell me, doctor, how do I avoid getting this dirt inside me?”
I knew that it was an unwanted pregnancy, but calling it dirt was too much. I replied a bit angrily, “There are tablets which can prevent this happening. Or you could use protection at night.”
Now it was the patient’s turn to be confused, “You mean to say that it happens only at night?”
I saw her point. “No! No! I meant anytime of the day, whenever you are in the mood, you should use protection.”
She was even more confused, “It depends on my moods?”
Again I saw her point. “My mistake. You need not be in any sort of mood. It just happens.”
“My neighbour advised me to go to one of those chaps who sit by the roadside.”
“You mean that pin man?”
This neighbour of hers seemed to be a very dangerous man. Besides using pins, he was sending her to such quacks. The only safety he knew was
among the pins. “You were wise not to heed his advice.”
“But I tried his other advice. He told me to put warm oil inside and wait. However, that also did not work.”
This was getting more and more bizarre. Her neighbour deserved to be locked up either in a padded cell or a barred one. “But have you taken your husband’s permission?”
Now the patient looked confused. “Do I have to take my husband’s permission? Because if you need his sign, he is working in Dubai. We were not able to meet for the last one year.”
It was my turn to be shocked. I gave a sly smirk. It was one of ‘those’ cases. The pin-wielding neighbour seemed to me the usual suspect. I reassured her. “No! No! The husband’s sign is not at all needed.”
“However, I did inform him on phone.”
Her husband seemed to me a very broad-minded fellow. I didn’t know whether to congratulate her or to commiserate with her. So I hastily turned to other aspects. “Its good that you came a bit early.”
“Actually I wanted to come early in the morning, but I had some other work.”
“Oh! I did not mean early today. I meant that if you had delayed this removal, it would have started moving. Then it would have developed a heartbeat.”
The patient was staring at me wide eyed as if watching a horror movie. Looking at her face, I decided that she was not fit to listen to the grotesque details. I decided to relieve her a bit. I said, “You will bleed a bit, but only for a few days.”
By now, the poor patient was trembling, “how-H-How much bleeding?”
“Oh, only slightly more than your menstrual period, and it will continue only for a week or so.”
By now the patient was clutching her hair in her fingers and staring at me wide-eyed. I asked her soothingly, “Why don’t you lie down on the
examination table? Remove your clothes and relax.”
This was the final straw. She didn’t even wish me goodbye. I saw just a blur of motion leaving my consulting room at top speed.
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT,
“And what starting salary were you looking for?”The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of five-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50 percent of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared me!”.
The passenger apologized and said, ”I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, ”Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years…….”
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude.
David tried to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.
Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming then suddenly there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto David’s extended arm and said, ‘I’m sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior.’
David was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude, and was just about to ask what had made such a drastic change, when the parrot continued,
‘Now, if I may ask, what did the chicken do?’