An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire.
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.
When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you.”
What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.
Three Men had adjacent businesses in the same building. The business man who ran the store at one end of the building put up a sign reading,”Year End Clearance Sale.” At the far end of teh buliding the other business man followed with a sign that said, “Closing-Out Sale.”
The business in the middle knew his business was going to be hurting bad, so he put up a sign that said, “Main Entrance.”
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude.
David tried to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.
Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming then suddenly there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto David’s extended arm and said, ‘I’m sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior.’
David was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude, and was just about to ask what had made such a drastic change, when the parrot continued,
‘Now, if I may ask, what did the chicken do?’